How to bribe your mother.

For some of you, you have always wished to be clever enough to outsmart your mothers, but it is a very difficult thing to do and most fail even when they are trying their hardest. I am here to show you the way, to lead you down the road of bribery, to ensure your future is in your control because we all know that mothers control everything in our futures.
Option 1: Acquire a favorite family heirloom that your mother holds hostage in her locked drawer. (This one can get a little tricky if you don't know where she hides the key.) When you retrieve said object, you are now in control. Your mother will feel helpless when you hold the prized family heirloom above her head. Let her know that you refuse to relinquish her grandmother's locket until she lets you go to your friend's slumber party in her treehouse. (This is technically blackmail instead of bribery, but it is still effective).
Option 2: Chocolate. Need I say more? All mothers love chocolate and most become ravenous wolves when trying to obtain the stuff. Ensure that you are at a safe distance before bringing the chocolate to light. CAUTION: Mask the scent of the chocolate beforehand. Mothers have a keen sense of smell when it comes to things such as chocolate.
Option 3: Butter her up. Get several sticks of butter and melt them in the microwave. Get a large brush and start lathering her skin with the butter. When she asks you, "What are you doing?" as most mothers will, reply, "I'm buttering you up so I can go bowling with Sally on Saturday." She will think that this is so cute that you will be able to go bowling with Sally on Saturday...after doing her laundry.
Option 4: Butter her up #2. Get several sticks of butter and put them in the microwave to melt. Use the butter to make your mother's favorite fudge recipe. Make sure that you at least doubled the recipe or your hard work will go unrewarded because you didn't make enough fudge for an adequate bribe.
If these options fail to bribe your mother into giving you what you want. Comment below with your specific situations and I will offer additional advice that would tempt any mother.