How to bribe your mother.

For some of you, you have always wished to be clever enough to outsmart your mothers, but it is a very difficult thing to do and most fail even when they are trying their hardest. I am here to show you the way, to lead you down the road of bribery, to ensure your future is in your control because we all know that mothers control everything in our futures.
Option 1: Acquire a favorite family heirloom that your mother holds hostage in her locked drawer. (This one can get a little tricky if you don't know where she hides the key.) When you retrieve said object, you are now in control. Your mother will feel helpless when you hold the prized family heirloom above her head. Let her know that you refuse to relinquish her grandmother's locket until she lets you go to your friend's slumber party in her treehouse. (This is technically blackmail instead of bribery, but it is still effective).
Option 2: Chocolate. Need I say more? All mothers love chocolate and most become ravenous wolves when trying to obtain the stuff. Ensure that you are at a safe distance before bringing the chocolate to light. CAUTION: Mask the scent of the chocolate beforehand. Mothers have a keen sense of smell when it comes to things such as chocolate.
Option 3: Butter her up. Get several sticks of butter and melt them in the microwave. Get a large brush and start lathering her skin with the butter. When she asks you, "What are you doing?" as most mothers will, reply, "I'm buttering you up so I can go bowling with Sally on Saturday." She will think that this is so cute that you will be able to go bowling with Sally on Saturday...after doing her laundry.
Option 4: Butter her up #2. Get several sticks of butter and put them in the microwave to melt. Use the butter to make your mother's favorite fudge recipe. Make sure that you at least doubled the recipe or your hard work will go unrewarded because you didn't make enough fudge for an adequate bribe.
If these options fail to bribe your mother into giving you what you want. Comment below with your specific situations and I will offer additional advice that would tempt any mother.

How to dance like a Brazilian.

Well you see students, I am an expert in Brazilian dancing because I have 3 Brazilian friends. They have no idea how to dance like a Brazilian, but that doesn't matter because however they dance is technically how Brazilians dance.
Step 1: Ask people what their ethnicity is until you find a Brazilian, (male or female it doesn't matter, but females are more fun to imitate)
Step 2: Invite them to some kind of dance thing with you, whether it be a school dance, a club, or a dance class at your local gym.
Step 3: Make sure you can see what they are doing at all times
Step 4: Imitate however they are dancing. If you are lucky, you will have chosen a true born and raised Brazilian and therefore you will become an expert just by imitating them.
It's definitely easy to dance like a Brazilian if you have the right friends.

Movie Quotes

I am a huge movie person and these are a few of my favorite quotes from my favorite movies. Most of these are meant to be funny.

"Are you not entertained?"
"Nobody knows what it means but it's provocative" (I've never actually seen this movie.)
"I too was....a nerd.." -"Too?"
"Is it like a point system, or is it...to the death?"
"Daddy is good, daddy is wise."
"Screw you guys, I hate high school."
"He's like a terd that won't flush."
"You is kind, you is smart, you is important."
"Lesbi-honest"

These really have no special meaning at all, they are just from movies that I have found to be entertaining.

My Perfect Day...

I would have to say my perfect "date" would  be April 25, because it's not too hot and it's not too cold, all you need is a light jacket. If you weren't aware, that's a quote from Miss Congeniality, (not verbatim but that doesn't matter). April 25, as it turns out, is my aunt and uncle's Wedding Anniversary so apparently they picked the perfect "date" for getting married.
Honestly, I can't think of a day that would qualify as a "perfect day." I've had many really, really good days, but none that have been uber amazing that I would consider a perfect day. So I'll just make something up!
When I was a young girl, approximately 3 years of age, I was obsessed with Strawberries. I would eat them all day long if given the opportunity. One balmy June afternoon in the city of San Jose, California, I arose at the crack of 2pm from my nap. My incredibly amazing, beautiful and graceful mother was awaiting my arrival at the bottom of the stairs. "I have some exciting news for my dearest and most favorite daughter who possesses the ability to walk." "Yes mother?" I asked with a slight bow of my luscious brown locks of boisterous hair. My incredibly amazing, beautiful and graceful mother lifted me in her arms and shouted "We're going Strawberry picking!" My whole world was flung into a state of ecstasy. My eyes shone with affection and gratitude toward my mother, and my body glowed with the joyful soul that seems to only inhabit the bodies of young children approximately 3 years of age. My incredibly amazing, beautiful and graceful mother cuddled me tightly in her warm arms and then we sought out my handsome, august, majestic, noble, well-groomed elder brother known to us as Alek Clubb. When we found him, it was time for us to make our departure to the Strawberry Picking Fields. The journey there seemed to last 3 hours 45 minutes and 6 seconds-in toddler words it was a lifetime.When we finally reached the streams of strawberry-filled fields, my little toddler feet were moving a hundred miles an hour in anticipation of the miles of strawberry fields. When my feet touched the ground, I sped off, leaving my family to eat my dust. I picked and ate, and picked and ate, and picked and ate until I was so full I couldn't breath and I collapsed in the car for another nap.